Day 426, August 25, 2021

Witness

I saw two white tail deer on the way home tonight. One paused on the side of the road until I was close enough to see its nose twitch and her nascent curiosity at the odd collection of sounds that are emanated from a slightly out of shape, past middle-age man, riding a bicycle up a hill. 

And then, at the last moment, as if released from a trance, she bounded off after her fawn or slightly smaller playmate and I watched their tails flicker off into the woods like two little flames.

Sometimes, the world is like that. Two flames dancing off into the distance through the woods and I am left behind to think about what I witnessed. 

The past is only a few footsteps behind, and yet forever untouchable, like every regret at every missed opportunity, every delicately placed proposal that was missed, the smells of marijuana, manure, diesel exhaust, a dryer vent, someone's dinner, my own sweat as I ride through the small towns. 

I look at my body in the mirror as I get dressed and marvel at my two toned self. A week at the beach reveals just how daring (or not) one's bathing suit is. I feel healthier, having absorbed the power of the sun. And yet, I am more tired. 

Today, finally, done. 

I rode home because if I waited much longer, the sun would go down. Tomorrow, there will be more. What is there, except this and our dreams. Our dreams and this.

The fog this morning was so thick, it made buildings disappear. Riding through it gave the air a prickly sensation. A chill, like being touched with your eyes closed.

We have to remember what gives us pleasure. 
We have to remember what gives us pleasure.

Breathing in the darkness, like an older man, imagining himself a younger man, riding a bicycle up a mountain.

Take care and be well,
Leo